Fives, Frauds & Flowers

The number five (5) has always been my favorite number. No real rhyme or reason on why I landed on five (probably just cuz of Nomar?)… But, like most kids, my fave number was a massive part of my identity growing up.

Favorite numbers are funny. Remember how insanely critical it was to make sure you got your favorite number on your team uniform in Little League or youth soccer as a kid? Literally, nothing else mattered. Like actually, if you didn’t get your favorite number, there was no point in even playing that season. Why even be on the team without your number? Might as well just call it quits & try again next year. NOTHING else mattered except getting your favorite number.

Just so you all know how serious I was about the number five, here’s a pic of me from 2010. If you look carefully, there is a literal “5“ SHAVED into the back of my goddamn head. I was 14 years old. So fucking sick of me.

Anyways, all of this is a round about way of saying welcome to week FIVE (5) of Trust Fun. Pretty epic we got to 5. Lot’s of new readers here this week, so if you’re new & have no idea what the heck is going on, click here to catch up. And for those of you who are regulars… Welcome back. Let’s get into it.

What is bootstrapping

Bootstrapping has been top of mind lately. Currently, it is no secret that we’re living in a bear market. Venture money is very hard, if not impossible to come by, cash is king, and people’s risk appetite is at an all time low. Not since the market crumbled in 2008 have we seen it this bad (I assume… I was 12 in 2008 stealing money from my sisters’ piggy banks... Personally, I was prospering financially). So, if you’re an aspiring entrepreneur, and you don’t have a bunch of rich uncles and/or you’re business idea has nothing to do with Artificial Intelligence, you’re only option right now is probably to bootstrap your business.

Now, why on earth do we call it bootstrapping? As we all know, the term “bootstrapping” originated with a phrase from the 18th & 19th century… “to pull oneself up by one's bootstraps.” Back then, it referred to doing an impossible task, like building a home with your bare hands or cutting down trees with nothing but a dull rock. However, the entrepreneurial world has completely corrupted the once bad ass concept of bootstrapping. Screw you, Silicon Valley.

For starters, the majority of people who are “bootstrapping” today look like this:

Let’s call this man, Steve.

Let’s break Steve down.

1) Steve’s not even wearing boots on his feet. How can you bootstrap without boots? They look like Merrills, maybe? Can’t tell. Great arch support obviously, & hard to argue with the efficiency of a slip-on, but c’mon. If we’re bootstrapping, we gotta at least bend over & tie our laces every morning.

2) From the neck up, he does give off some Paul Bunyan vibes. However, the cargo shorts & the free tech conference t-shirt doesn’t quite scream “doing the impossible.” C’mon Steve. Throw on a flannel.

3) If you look closely under his desk, Steve’s got one of those ergonomic foot rests. Ergonomic foot rests are NOT bootstrapping. If you’re bootstrapping, you cannot use an ergonomic footrest, they are strictly for venture funded businesses.

*Editors note: This is intended as a joke. If this is you or you know this person I am so so sorry. It was just a random google image that worked to get my point across.

All kidding aside, here’s what our good friends over at Investopedia define “bootstrapping” as: Starting a company with little-to-no capital.

But what does it really mean to bootstrap? What does it take? Who’s doing it?

I figured I’d use my mom, who is one of the most legendary bootstrappers to ever walk this earth, as an example. Here are a few of her Hall of Fame stats: 6 kids, many jobs, former head of the Parent-Teacher Organization, sent all of us to college, a legendary chef, award-winning gardener, a classic artist, & much, much more…

Anyways, I came home this week so I could have a bed (remember, I’m homeless & unemployed), & what do you know, she’s working on her next epic project… And of course, bootstrapping the heck out of it.

First she came up with a product idea that is original, achievable & solves a real problem.

The product: Handmade Coasters.

The problem she’s solving: My sister is getting married this June, and for some reason, custom wedding coasters are all lame, shitty quality & expensive.

The differentiator: She’s using flowers from her amazing garden to literally put into each coaster. So her garden, which we all love so much, will actually be a part of the wedding.

The value prop: Each guest will be able to take one of my mom’s amazing coasters home, as a gift. That’s what we call in the biz world… a 2 birds one stone situation.

She self-taught herself how to mold & create the resin on YouTube, she’s drying out all the flowers in all my dad’s books (sorry dad), and banging out hundreds of these amazing 1 of 1 coasters every week.

Very low COGs, a unique product that solves a real problem, and ACTUALLY pulling herself up by her bootstrap every day to pick some flowers & pour some resin. Sure, the kitchen may have turned into a coaster factory, & it’s become very hard for my dad to get to the fridge during his snacking hours (10-11am and 2-4pm), but that’s just the opportunity cost of bootstrapping, baby.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Proud af of my mom as always. These rule.

See you next week. Have a great Monday.

PS. Do we set up the Shopify store now? Anyone looking to invest in a prospering coaster biz? I’m thinking B2B custom orders could be HUGE for her… Hmmmm