Mobilizers, Memories & Misses

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Every friend group has that person.

The mobilizer.

The one who says “yo let’s get dinner” — and then actually finds a restaurant, picks a date, makes a Resy, and puts the whole thing on their Amex. The one who books the Airbnb, buys the tickets, organizes the group chat, sends reminders, checks flight prices, and builds a full-blown itinerary that gets mostly ignored.

That person? Well sometimes it’s me. Not always, but I’d consider myself a mobilizer from time to time, and this week was one of those times.

I bought 11 Red Sox tickets for me and my friends. Coordinated schedules. Picked the game. Secured the seats. Rallied the troops.

And yeah — it was a bit of a pain in the ass. Everyone’s busy. People have jobs. Conflicting schedules. Flaky friends. Getting a group of guys to agree on anything — especially in August — is hard.

But when everyone’s finally at the stadium, beers in hand, sun setting over Fenway...
No one’s thinking about who picked the date or put it on their card. They’re just glad they showed up.

And here’s the thing about being the mobilizer — it sometimes comes with this weird shame-y undercurrent. Like, “Oh, you wanted to hang out with us that badly you spent your entire work day building a financial model for a trip to San Diego?”

Yes. Yes I did. It’s called procrastination.

As if making the effort is some kind of social thirst trap. As if caring enough to coordinate is cringey.

NAH DOG MISS ME WITH THAT, I say.

You know what’s actually lame? Letting every friendship fade into a group chat that hasn't been used since 2022. So this week’s message is simple:

Be the mobilizer. Step the fuck up.

Plan the dinner. Book the golf trip. Send the calendar invite.
Put the Airbnb on your card and just say “Venmo me when you can.”
Will half the group forget? Of course.
Will someone bail last-minute? Absolutely.
Will it be worth it anyway? Every time.

The older we get, the more life fills up with reasons not to hang out.
So if you have the time, energy, and optimism to bring people together — do it.

They’ll appreciate you more than they say.

And if you’re not the mobilizer? That’s fine too.
But Venmo the friend who is. Show up. Be present.
And maybe, next time, book the table.

Maybe, just maybe, mobilize people to my improv show on September 3rd in NYC. Tickets are on sale. But ‘em here.