Tuesdays, Towels & Takeout

A very very rare Tuesday edition of Trust Fun today. Candidly, I actually meant to send it out yesterday (Monday) as a middle finger to prove that I was working while all of you were sitting on your asses drinking high noons. Unfortunately, I was busy playing pickleball & drinking frozen Aperol Spritzs.

We are not the same.

Anyways, probably for the best since most of us haven’t sniffed our unread emails since Friday at noon. Hopefully the inbox isn’t too too scary this AM. I’m sure your MDWs were splendid. I assume you got outside, & most importantly, spent quality time with people you actually like. And if you didn’t… I’m sorry. That sucks.

Listen, I can relate. I’ve been there.

In the early days of living in New York City, it was near impossible to escape the city on a long summer weekend. You usually had 3 options…

Option 1: Plan a weekend in the Hamptons or Jersey Shore with your friends by cramming 12 dudes (or dudettes) into a house that costs $8,000 for 3 nights. No bed, no sheets, towels as blankets, most definitely lose your security deposit. Essentially, spend 1.5 paychecks on a weekend you barely remember. Usually 6 of the people are your friends, the other 6 you hate. The weekend kinda sucks, it probably rains, you wait in a bunch of long lines to get into bars, you don’t shower or brush your teeth, & you have a hangover that lasts until June. The highlight of it all is playing beer die next to a pool that’s too cold to get into.

Option 2: You stay put in NYC. It seems as if you’re the only one in Manhattan. It’s hot, smells like pee, & you still spend a bunch of money because 1) it’s New York, & 2) you do some idiot math in your head & think “Hey, at least I didn’t go in on that house in the Hamptons,” convincing yourself you’re actually saving money by ordering $80 worth of takeout sushi. Sugarfish obviously.

Option 3: Get invited to someones parents’ beach house. This is the optimal option in my opinion, but also the hardest to execute. At first, you’re afraid to admit that not going to Montauk to sleep on a deflated air mattress using towels as sheets isn’t the ideal summer weekend. Let’s be honest, there is nothing better than being a guest at someone else’s beach house. Fresh sheets, clean towels, a fridge full of cut up fruit, craft beers, & Rosé. Dinners are planned & extravagant. Maybe you’ll go out to their favorite spot, or even better, the neighbors are coming over to BBQ & sing kumbaya. There’s a fire pit, 6 pristine white bicycles & an iconic ice cream spot that’s a short walk away. The parents’ beach house always wins.

Not sure why I decided to give you guys a “How To Summer While Broke in NYC” blog this morning, but oh well. Week 32 is #unsponsored so I can write about whatever the hell I want.

As I sit here and type, I’m once again on the Amtrak, my 2nd home, on my way to Newport, Rhode Island for Mugsy photoshoot till Thursday, then home for my sis/future brother-in-law’s bach party in Boston, then up to Maine for my 5 year college reunion. 13 wonderful, magical days away from NYC. God bless the US of A.

Have a great (short) week!